Nothing Gets Past
Airport Security
Nothing Gets Past
Airport Security
Airport security sucks. For anyone not familiar with the what goes on
at an airport security check, it's where you're harassed
by balding, middle-aged men and women with yellow armpit stains.
They'll submit you to rigorous interrogation by asking you questions to
ensure that you're not a terrorist plotting to blow up the airplane (because
that's what all terrorists do). Some of the questions you might be
asked:
That last question gets me every time. I have a bad habit of leaving
my luggage with unscrupulous looking strangers so my shit gets stolen
before I go on my trip. Please. What's the point of asking these questions?
Anyone planning on blowing up an airplane probably isn't going to be
honest enough to answer these questions truthfully in the first place.
Even if the terrorists were dumb enough to answer these questions truthfully,
chances are that they'd be too damn stupid to pull off the crime anyway!
What the hell is the point?
I was carrying a box through the security check point at LAX the other
day, when I was suddenly stopped by an officer that asked me what was
in my box. I told him "a doll" and he took my word for it, letting me
pass through. If he was going to take my word for it anyway, then what
the hell was the point of asking? I could have said shoes, clothes, or
even a good Smashing Pumpkins album (if
one existed).
Does he hope that by asking enough stupid questions that
eventually a terrorist would slip up and say "a bomb," at which
point officer dipshit would arrest him or her? Morons.
413,052 people have sent me email bitching about how I owe my life to airport security and the federal regulations that force them to ask me stupid questions, not realizing that I don't give a shit.
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