Why are people so damn boring?


Talking to people is a waste of time. I tried a new chat program the other day (out of sheer mind-numbing boredom), and I was bombarded with messages from strangers wanting to chat. Okay, great. So I decided to give it a try. No matter what I'd say, they'd always answer in one or two words and/or syllables (even to open ended questions--go figure). This particular chat program allowed each user to have a profile in which they could list hobbies or interests, and some stupid quotes that govern their lives.

Of the people I talked to, 90% of them listed "I like to have fun" as one of their "interests." Who the hell doesn't like to have fun? What a stupid thing to say. "Hi, my name is dumbass. I like to have fun in my spare time. I'm too shallow to have any real hobbies or interests, so I'm going to play it safe and rattle off an array of universal traits that everyone can relate to, just in case someone suspects me of having a personality or opinion of my own." Most of the people I talked to WROTE EVERYTHING IN CAPS. What right do they have to be this stupid?

I can just see them now. Those morons, sitting at a login prompt, typing their password incorrectly, over and over, because their caps lock key is on. "Why won't it work?" They might ask. "I'm typing my password correct; I could have sworn it was abcdefg. Why isn't it working?" How can they be so inept?

Okay, new rule. First of all, if you make your password abcdefg, you will be shot. Second rule, if you don't type your password correctly in six tries, you will be shot (or shot again, if you broke the first rule). Maybe that will keep these personality deprived idiots off of computers. Any hackers out there? We need a new virus or worm to wipe out the internet. I'm tired of it.

Also, there are too many personal home pages. Too many people making web pages for their pets, too many dancing hamsters, and too many love web sites. There's just too much crap out there. We need a new policy. Advertisers need to stop making it so attractive for companies to give out free web pages, and people need to carefully consider the consequences of putting up another personal home page listing some stupid hobbies and interests that nobody cares about, so just in case somebody goes to the page by accident, they don't waste their time reading another boring and pointless bio about a stupid kid in high school that likes to listen to Smashing Pumpkins or Aqua. Nobody wants to read this stuff, yet people feel compelled to put their thoughts down on the internet for everyone to read. I suppose I'm guilty of this. Or maybe I have a hidden agenda. Maybe I know that reading my web page is a waste of time, and it somehow feels satisfying that I can waste my time to write this web page once, and thousands of others will waste their time reading it, thousands of times. I'm wasting more of your time than I am mine. I'm making a profit.

214,008 people bored me to tears while chatting.

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