Right in the ASS!

Have you ever been watching a movie in a theater or sitting at your desk trying to sneak a few minutes of work in between the torrent of stupid questions your co-workers ask you when all of a sudden someone's Cell phone goes off to the tune of Vivaldi's Four Seasons? The next person's phone I hear set to Vivaldi is going to need a hydraulic pump to pry their phone out of their ass. If I wanted my day filled with stupid high pitched obnoxious buzzing and shrieking, I'd get a girlfriend. Thanks to technology, I can experience the raping of all my classic favorites; everything from Berlioz to Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition RUINED.

I'm going to go out on a limb here, but is it just me or do people with musical ringers also have obnoxious laughs? There's a stupid bitch with an obnoxious cackle in one of my classes that never remembers to turn off her Cell phone, so I always have to slam her up side the head to remind her. Speaking of me kicking ass, I've decided from now on that I'm going to fight women and children exclusively. Some people might call me a pussy for doing it, and I can only agree.

577,031 people think my muscular man boobs are powerful enough to take any adversary.

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