Being certified doesn't make you
any less of a dumbass.


I saw a commercial on TV the other day. There was some guy saying "Do you want a high paying job in the computer industry? Tired of seeing job opportunities being wasted because you don't have the right skills? Well now you can get certified training in one of these exciting fields," he went on to say "Computers, Data Entry, Microsoft Access or Computer Network Assistant!" At this point I had to take a cold shower because I was so excited.

I couldn't believe the luck I was having. For only $300.00 or so, I could get trained to have my A+ certification, or for another $5000.00 or so, I could have, dare I say, an MCSE?!? I'd be sure to bag a high paying job with those certifications on my resume! Finally, I can get out of my dead-end job as a programmer and become a network specialist. Please. I can't believe people go for this bullshit. You know, some people just weren't meant to work with computers. That's why the delete command was invented. So people who don't know how to use it delete all of their important files, throw a fit when their computer doesn't respond anymore, cry, and stop using computers forever. Computers are too user friendly as it is, we don't need more graphical user interfaces and smiling logos to help people feel comfortable while using a computer. We need programs that bitch and moan all the time with a poor interface that impairs functionality. Thanks to Microsoft, this program has been somewhat realized with Office 2000. Holy shit, if I see that paper clip one more time, I'm personally going to put my foot up the ass of every single Office 2000 developer; and what the hell is up with this new kick Microsoft's on where they hide the options from you if you don't use them for more than a few seconds? It's ANNOYING. AGGGH.

Anyway.. my point is that these certifications don't necessarily make you any more qualified for a job than someone with genuine skills and interest in computers. If you aren't good at learning new things and working with computers, save employers the trouble of having to throw away your shitty resume. Don't bother applying if all you have to show for yourself is a list of acronyms that read like a recipe card. That's another thing. There are way too many acronyms. A+, MCSE, VB, CNA, CNE, CCNA, ICRC, ACRC, CCIE, CNX, CDIA, MCSD, CBT... the list goes on and on. Why so many? I can fit all these acronyms under one category: BS. Because when all is said and done, in the end, you're just left with more of the same: bullshit.

174,823 unqualified morons have good paying jobs that they don't deserve.

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