I saw slick Willy Clinton on TV today. He was signing some bill to ban imports on goods that come from companies that violate child labor laws. Why? What good are kids if they don't work? If kids don't work, then who will mine the coal??

All seriousness aside, kids can be very useful. I mean, there's a lot of work to be done, and kids have a lot of free time that they'd otherwise spend spilling food on expensive carpet. Maybe if we went back to the 1920's child labor laws (or whenever it was when kids were put to work in coal mines), everything would be better. Let's face it: most kids fail. Rather than having them disappoint everyone and fail in school, let's just put the bastards to work. Kids shouldn't be allowed to play or to have fun. They don't deserve it. I DO. To hell with them riding bikes and playing on swings, it's my turn.

I haven't been on a swing in years, and it's about time I went down to the playground and KICKED SOME ASS. That's right kids, move along, I'm taking over. What can those scrawny little shits do? Nothing. HAHAH.

182,139 kids need to be put to work in coal mines.

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