Today I considered never watching TV again. The reason?
Kodak
commercials. There's one in particular that has really been pissing me
off lately.
It's the commercial that starts out with some whore
talking about what seemed like a normal day that turned out to be
something
"special." This set off my bullshit detector right away, but I kept watching
because I figured that it probably couldn't ruin my whole day. Wrong. My
whole day was ruined.
Anyway, the whore goes on to talk about the lobsters her
husband just brought home from the store. She started to cook dinner while
the husband went out back to check on something. Meanwhile, the kids were
left un-supervised. It turns out that the kids stole the lobsters and threw
them back in the ocean. Those ugly little shits just threw the lobsters away!
I can't believe it. I expected the father to go into
a rage at what they had done, but no. Instead they get the camera out and
start taking pictures and playing grab ass. What the hell?! $40 dollars
thrown away, and these assholes are celebrating?
Those irresponsible little bastards. Who the hell do they think they are?
Pale little shits, I'd make them go back into the ocean to bring me back
lobsters. What's that? You can't swim? Oh.. well that's too
bad, because you're going in anyway. *KICK*
There's another commercial that's been pissing me off lately. The
commercial's for
Chuckarama. I'm not sure if it's local only or
not, but it's an all-you-can-eat restaurant with shitty food. Anyway, the
commercial features some guy with a basketball, like he's some big jock
something, and then he starts singing. "The choice is yours... at
Chuckarama!!! When I'm hungry for some food, Chuckarama is what I waaant."
Oh really? Well it sounds to me like you're hungry for an ass kicking. You
piece of shit. What the hell were they thinking? Nobody wants to see some
scrawny bone-pecker wanna-be jock singing a jingle about an all-you-can-eat
restaurant with shitty food. Everyone knows that he's full of shit. Man, I'd
really like
to spit on that asshole right now.
There are also those Biore commercials that I hate. All their commercials
feature some snooty bitch with perfect skin bitching about "black heads."
Their motto is "Biore. Pure, Honest." Bullshit. One of their products
is a nose strip used to tear out chunks of dirt from the face of ugly hags,
but it never seems to work on the commercials because I can still see the
whores that they are even after they use them. I'm so damned sick of
these commercials with starving models trying to jump onto the retro-90's
bandwagon with their cocky "I'm an invincible woman" attitude. Why don't they
shut the hell up for a change? They make sick.
To top it all off, there are now those "It came from the 80's" commercials
we have to put up with. They're those commercials that try to exploit
all that horrible music nobody listened to in the 80's. They try to make
glam rock cool by using dated phrases from the 80's like "totally gnarly" and
"NOT" after every phrase. Example: "Rockin' in the 80's was totally cool,
but you don't have to listen to this music loud... NOT" Hey, I've got an
idea! Why NOT pull your head out of your ass and stop selling this
shit to everybody. Worthless. You know.. I'm too bitter to type any more,
I'm going to go sit in the dark and wish cancer upon my enemies.
132,099 people don't give a shit about what commercials I hate.