More Bullshit Propaganda

Today I considered never watching TV again. The reason? Kodak commercials. There's one in particular that has really been pissing me off lately.

It's the commercial that starts out with some whore talking about what seemed like a normal day that turned out to be something "special." This set off my bullshit detector right away, but I kept watching because I figured that it probably couldn't ruin my whole day. Wrong. My whole day was ruined.

Anyway, the whore goes on to talk about the lobsters her husband just brought home from the store. She started to cook dinner while the husband went out back to check on something. Meanwhile, the kids were left un-supervised. It turns out that the kids stole the lobsters and threw them back in the ocean. Those ugly little shits just threw the lobsters away! I can't believe it. I expected the father to go into a rage at what they had done, but no. Instead they get the camera out and start taking pictures and playing grab ass. What the hell?! $40 dollars thrown away, and these assholes are celebrating?

Those irresponsible little bastards. Who the hell do they think they are? Pale little shits, I'd make them go back into the ocean to bring me back lobsters. What's that? You can't swim? Oh.. well that's too bad, because you're going in anyway. *KICK*

I can't believe the shit they let them get away with. I'd make those little jerks get a job to pay off the lobsters, and then I'd put them up for adoption.

There's another commercial that's been pissing me off lately. The commercial's for Chuckarama. I'm not sure if it's local only or not, but it's an all-you-can-eat restaurant with shitty food. Anyway, the commercial features some guy with a basketball, like he's some big jock something, and then he starts singing. "The choice is yours... at Chuckarama!!! When I'm hungry for some food, Chuckarama is what I waaant."

Oh really? Well it sounds to me like you're hungry for an ass kicking. You piece of shit. What the hell were they thinking? Nobody wants to see some scrawny bone-pecker wanna-be jock singing a jingle about an all-you-can-eat restaurant with shitty food. Everyone knows that he's full of shit. Man, I'd really like to spit on that asshole right now.

There are also those Biore commercials that I hate. All their commercials feature some snooty bitch with perfect skin bitching about "black heads." Their motto is "Biore. Pure, Honest." Bullshit. One of their products is a nose strip used to tear out chunks of dirt from the face of ugly hags, but it never seems to work on the commercials because I can still see the whores that they are even after they use them. I'm so damned sick of these commercials with starving models trying to jump onto the retro-90's bandwagon with their cocky "I'm an invincible woman" attitude. Why don't they shut the hell up for a change? They make sick.

To top it all off, there are now those "It came from the 80's" commercials we have to put up with. They're those commercials that try to exploit all that horrible music nobody listened to in the 80's. They try to make glam rock cool by using dated phrases from the 80's like "totally gnarly" and "NOT" after every phrase. Example: "Rockin' in the 80's was totally cool, but you don't have to listen to this music loud... NOT" Hey, I've got an idea! Why NOT pull your head out of your ass and stop selling this shit to everybody. Worthless. You know.. I'm too bitter to type any more, I'm going to go sit in the dark and wish cancer upon my enemies.

132,099 people don't give a shit about what commercials I hate.

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