Reasons to Cry During Titanic:

1. You just realized that you wasted $6.50 to piss away three hours of your life to watch a movie that you knew the outcome of. "Hmm.. a movie about the Titanic. I wonder how it's going to end."

2. You realize five minutes into the movie that James Cameron raped you and all the other suckers in the theater out of $6.50, and that he's laughing his ass off at you for being such a susceptable dumbass.

3. After the movie is over, you notice all the other wimps in the theater that cried during the movie, and you realize that we have a long way to go as a society.

4. You used too much paint thinner on your eyes when you were trying to cleanse them of the bullshit they just saw.

5. You remember that you pissed away three hours of your life.

6. You realize that if 10 million people saw the movie once, each wasting 3 hours of their lives, that 30 million hours have been wasted, and that if each person lived an average of 70 years, 3,424 years, or 49 lives will have been wasted watching the Titanic. James Cameron has effectively murdered 49 people. (Not necessarily a reason to cry, but it is to a sap that saw Titanic in the first place).

7. You realize that you don't give a rat's ass about the Titanic and all the people who died on it, and that you can't get a refund for your ticket.

8. You realize that the movie made enough money to actually raise the Titanic, and that you would have rather spent your money to see the real thing.

9. You know that everyone in the theater will die someday, and seeing a bunch of losers get sunk on a ship puts your own impending doom into perspective.

10. You're a dumbass for seeing Titanic, and you know it.

278,791 people regret seeing the Titanic atrocity.

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