That's right asshole, bag my groceries!


I was in a grocery store the other day when I noticed a familiar face behind the cashier. I could barely recognize the lumbering ape from behind his apron, but sure enough he was one of the dumbass jocks I went to highschool with. I see all that football he played really paid off. Mr. Bigshot jock-boy is bagging MY groceries. All that time spent running laps in gym... who'd have thought that it doesn't mean shit in the real world? I guess his prospective employers weren't as impressed with his ability to make a basket from the three-point line as much as his anorexic ex-girlfriend. Who's king now, chump?

Paper or Plastic?

More and more, I'm running into dumbass jocks I went to highschool with bagging my groceries, cleaning my dirty dishes and renting out my videos. They're the ones stuck doing shit work after being out of highschool for 4 years. Oh sure, they ate coal and shit diamonds when they were in highschool, acting all high and mighty with their rented limos and cheap perfume, taking their dates out to school dances and bragging about the sub-par action they had the following day, but now it's a different story. They're no longer rewarded for screwing off in class because they're on the school football team. They're no longer let out early to go run laps and throw baseballs. They're no longer favored by coach fill-in-the-blank that's teaching math instead of a real teacher. Nobody gives a shit anymore jock-boy, now BAG MY GROCERIES.

Every year in highschool, I had to pay somewhere on the order of $73 for registration, not counting $15 for the parking decal that didn't guarantee us a parking spot. Most of this fee went towards a general "activity" fee that covered sporting events (oooh, highschool football is no longer a pastime, but it's an 'event'), assemblies (with production values well below an average B movie) and school dances. Every student, regardless of his or her participation in these "events," was required to pay this activity fee. I wouldn't even bitch so much if our highschool football team didn't suck as bad as they did. I remember one year when they were brainwashing us with school-spirit propaganda, they showed us a video highlighting the football scores throughout the year. In one of the many games they were slaughtered in, the score was 37-0. We didn't even score a single damn point. What pisses me off most is that the majority of our "activity fee" went towards buying these dipshits new football uniforms. Here's a hint: I don't think it's the uniforms, you morons!

I can't help but snicker every time I see another bald, fat and impotent (you can tell just by looking at them) highschool jock mopping the floors in a bathroom. They'll never better themselves because they're just too damn stupid. When given the choice of academics or athletics, they chose athletics. They have nobody to blame but themselves. It's never too late for these dumbasses to pick up the pieces and get going, but they won't. They just don't have the ambition and they're too damn stupid. I can't emphasize this enough. Just too stupid.

It pisses me off that in highschool, while the jocks were being excused early to go practice football, they wouldn't excuse me to go program or work on animation or something else that someone in the real world might give a shit about. We were forced to use 8086 monochrome IBM pieces of shit running DOS 5.0 using a Pascal compiler. If they would have even used a fraction of the budget they allotted for football on new computers, not even nice computers (hell, I'd have been content with a 386), maybe our school could have had a programming department that wasn't pure shit. Then again, the typing/writing/algebra/english teacher that they had filling in every other class couldn't tell assembler from her asshole in the first place.

Physical education is the biggest crock of shit in the universe. It doesn't do any good to anyone. How much money is blown in maintaining expensive gym equipment every year? Showers, locker rooms, bathrooms, basketball courts, football stadiums, baseball helmets.. all for what? Where's the payoff? Little Tommy's parents coming to the football game to cheer him on? Please. Throw that shit away. Nobody needs it. Nobody cares. It's completely worthless to anyone and everything. Even if one out of every 100 dumbasses who hoped to become professional made it big, it still doesn't justify the cost of all this equipment. Sports have no place in public schools, period. I don't care about football, baseball or hockey. You want to play, play on your own time. Let the others that come to school to learn get something done so they can make something of themselves. The notion that sports is allowed in public schools is preposterous. Why not devote a class to playing video games? What the hell good does it do? No more or less than sports. BAH.

896,267 dumbass jocks came to my page but left frustrated after not being able to read any of the words.

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