I rule.

You know, I've been thinking recently about how much I rule. I'm really a great guy. If I weren't me, I'd wish I was. Why am I so great? I ask myself that question sometimes:

1. First of all, I'm a pirate. That alone makes me rule over everyone. Pirates by definition rule because they're so mean.

2. Next, I'm a robot.

3. I'm too tired to be up working on my web page.

4. I should be writing my research paper for history.

5. History sucks.

6. Who cares about the "inherent conflict between freedom and equality" anyway? What a stupid topic to write a paper about. Writing blows.


8. HEY. this web page sucks.


10. I wonder if I ate some green jello right now, and I barfed, if my barf would be green. Mmm.. green. Green is my favorite flavor.

11. Everything green tastes good, I decided. (don't ask me about green boogers, and other such nonsense, because I'd only eat green things that were reasonably edible).

12. Why don't people just leave me alone?

13. go away.

14. I wish I had some more money.. I'd buy a llama or something.

15. What kind of name is llama anyway? Who thought of that one? What a stupid name.

16. I kind of like it.


18. I wish I were an ASTROnaut. Instead, I'm a crummy pilgrim with a giant cyst on my face. no-wait. that's my nose. hHAHAH

19. b0ner

254,367 people think I'm great.

Available now!
Join the mailing list here

Back to how much I rule... New Book Store Email Patreon
© 1997-2017 by Maddox