What Hippies are good for:

  • Parking your car on them.

  • Sending them to war so they get killed instead of real people.

  • Medical testing (they're stupid like animals; just knock them out and give them a shot.. they won't know what happened)

  • Using them for ammo. We should pack them into missiles and launch them over towards Iraq. The smell is potent enough to make any enemy surrender.

  • Target practice.

  • Hamburgers (They want to be in touch with nature, so what better way than to be digested and used as fertilizer? Hippy burgers anyone?)

  • Hippies make great janitors (after all, they have the smell down).

  • Decorations. Add color to your yard with a few hippies impaled on your fence (Dracula style).

  • Hippies make great scapegoats. Bad day at work? Famine? Plague? Cancer? Blame it on hippies.

  • Hippies are always good for kicking.

  • Hippies are fun to tease (good for laughs when you're bored)

  • Raw sewage storage (Hippies will eat anything).

  • Hippies are flamable and make for great campfire fuel.

  • Hippies will do free work to clean up the world (those suckers love earth).

  • Hippies are great for mixing with cement and throwing off bridges.

  • Hippies are perfect for running over (always sleeping on park benches and sidewalks).

    Do you have a use for a hippy that I haven't thought of? If so, mail me:

    459,887 hippies hate me.

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