Infomercials Kick Ass.

Everything on TV sucks; thank God we still have infomercials. Sarcasm? You bet. Man.. who the hell keeps these people in business?? Every infomercial has three main elements:

  • Some amazing new product that does something trivial and utterly useless in "JUST SECONDS."

  • A smartass that knows everything about the product. And,

  • Some guy that doesn't quite know what the hell's going on.

    Add to these ingredients some cheesy music and a penetrating narrator's voice, and you've got yourself a first class infomercial fit to be spammed on countless late-night networks. Why are infomercials written so poorly?! There's always the guy that's trying to sell the product standing around, clipping weeds/cooking pasta/polishing a car, when the guy that doesn't know what the hell's going on wanders onto the set. Without fail, the first words out of his mouth are: "Hey, what are you doing?" Like he really gives a rats ass (I know I don't). Then the other guy answers "Oh, just saving time and money." AAAGGHHH. I just want to hit the stupid bastards that come up with these scripts.

    233,678 infomercials were made for the sole purpose of ruining my day.

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