Infomercials Kick Ass.


Everything on TV sucks; thank God we still have infomercials. Sarcasm? You bet. Man.. who the hell keeps these people in business?? Every infomercial has three main elements:

  • Some amazing new product that does something trivial and utterly useless in "JUST SECONDS."

  • A smartass that knows everything about the product. And,

  • Some guy that doesn't quite know what the hell's going on.

    Add to these ingredients some cheesy music and a penetrating narrator's voice, and you've got yourself a first class infomercial fit to be spammed on countless late-night networks. Why are infomercials written so poorly?! There's always the guy that's trying to sell the product standing around, clipping weeds/cooking pasta/polishing a car, when the guy that doesn't know what the hell's going on wanders onto the set. Without fail, the first words out of his mouth are: "Hey, what are you doing?" Like he really gives a rats ass (I know I don't). Then the other guy answers "Oh, just saving time and money." AAAGGHHH. I just want to hit the stupid bastards that come up with these scripts.

    233,677 infomercials were made for the sole purpose of ruining my day.

    Days 

    Hours
    Minutes
    Seconds

    Buy Now.

    Back to how much I rule... New Book Announcement Store Email

    © 1997-2017 by Maddox