Laziness is the key to success. Here are the rules of being lazy:
1. Never do anything. If you wait around long enough, someone else
will do it.
2. Don't move. Moving is overrated.
3. Never run. Running is the worst thing you can do. I had to
run once.. big mistake.
4. If something is not in your reach, you don't need it. Before you
get up to get something across the room next time, think. Do you really
want to get up and walk all the way there and all the way back to
get it? Yeah, I know. I felt stupid for moving all those times.
5. Don't have an opinion. Opinions are thoughts, and thoughts are
6. Don't work. Working is for suckers. Be a CEO if you can, they
never do anything.
7. If you have to move, fuss about it. Make it well known that you're
pissed off because you have to move. Sigh a lot. Drag your feet and arch
your back at 60 degrees (bad posture helps you to conform to the shapes of
couches when you sit down, and it makes you look tired).
8. Sleep as much as you can. Contrary to common sense and popular
belief, sleeping is very productive.
9. Don't talk. Talking requires the movement of your jaw.. way too
10. If you have to work, do a half-assed job at it. Example: If you
have to rake leaves, push them out into the road or into your neighbor's
yard. If you have a riding lawn mower, run over them a few times until
the pieces are small enough to hide in between blades of grass.
I have more rules, but this is taking more effort than I thought. I'll
update this later.. if I'm not too tired.
I've spent 784,066 hours sitting around on my ass.
Back to how much I rule...
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