Old People should Be Eaten.

Seriously, what good are old people?

I was stuck behind an old lady in traffic for 20 minutes today. She was cruising at a steady 15 miles per hour on the freeway with her right turn signal on the whole time. She was holding up traffic for miles. I think I have skin cancer now because I was stuck under the sun for so long. Vultures started to circle her car because she was so damn old. This lady looked like she was going to die any second. It was grotesquely obvious that she was wearing a wig, and probably had a colostomy bag. She was hunched over the steering wheel like she was giving birth to the damn thing.

Stupid old hag, she's probably bitter because she's so old, withered and worthless, so she's trying to take it out on everyone else by driving slow on the free way, voting for shitty presidents, and bitching about social security.

My solution: let's eat them! We'll dress up a slaughter house like a retirement home, and then we'll trick them into going with promises of free prune juice and quality health care (bwahaha). Then we'll throw them into the meat grinder and there you have it: instant geriatric burgers.

251,930 old people think I'm an ass.

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