Just Kidding

Qui-Gon Jinn & Darth Maul
You have just read the names of the characters that die in Star Wars: Episode I. HAHAHA.

First let me say that I'm by no measure a Star Wars geek. But seriously, what the hell was Lucas thinking when he made the movie? I'm talking about the character "Jar Jar Binks." I thought it was a joke when I first saw him. He ruined the whole movie. And what's with Darth Maul dying near the end? He barely did anything. What a crock. The way his character was hyped, I thought he'd be murdering children and lepers throughout the whole movie, but instead, he turns out to be some nancy boy that gets his ass kicked by that Obi-Wan coward.

Another fatal flaw was Anakin Skywalker. Nobody wants to watch kids in movies because everyone knows kids are stupid little shits, and they don't know anything.

They should have based the whole movie around that sea monster in the beginning that rips the fish in half. If I made the movie, it'd be all about that monster kicking ass. The movie would last about half an hour because the whole thing would consist of the monster killing everyone. The end.

Oh by the way, if I really did ruin the movie for you, good. Write me some hate mail (disclaimer applies).

246,099 people are pissed at me for ruining the ending to Star Wars. Good.

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