Up Yours Jared!

Still a loser.

Subway Blows.


Jared Fogel. A name that was once synonymous with the phrase "chunky loser." Fast forward 800 pounds later, I think I can safely omit the word "chunky." I hate these commercials more than anything. "Lookin' hot Jared!" Yeah, you look great for a nerdy ex-fatass loser. Who the hell does he think he is? Acting all high and mighty because he lost some weight. I'm trying really hard to care, but I just can't. Every time I see his face I want to go on a new diet of my own: my "Jared-only" diet. I'll eat Jared and see how much weight I can lose in one year by snacking on pretentious losers hosting shitty Subway commercials (probably not much since I'm sure there will be no shortage of shitty commercials).

Then as if it wasn't bad enough to have to see that cocky son of a bitch prancing around on TV "ooh, look at me, I'm Jared the ex-fatass, still loser," we have to put up with all the sheep! The mindless dumbass sheep jumping on the bandwagon, living in the shadow of a former fatass. "Jared inspired me!" Wow! That's great! Now kill yourself. Are people so empty of spirit these days that they can actually be inspired by a corporate marketing ploy and a nerdy college kid trying to cash in on his 15 minutes? What the hell is wrong with you people? You couldn't inspire your fatass enough to STOP EATING so much on your own, yet this dumbass comes along and says he ate sandwiches from Subway of all places, and suddenly he's a national hero? What about all the other hundreds and thousands of fatass success stories out there? Those haven't inspired anyone on this scale? No.. but then this loser comes along and Subway's quick to jump all over it. Makes me sick. I saw a commercial the other day with a snooty bitch from Utah thanking Jared for helping her lose weight. News flash moron: Jared didn't do anything you couldn't have done on your own. Pull your head out of your ass and realize your own damn potential. TV sucks.

Nothing has changed If this dipshit Jared was such a hero and Subway gave two shits about anything other than their profit margin, then why don't they mention that there's nothing special about their sandwiches? Why don't they mention that you could get or make sandwiches just as "low-fat" on your own or from a competitor? IT'S A BULLSHIT MARKETING PLOY, WAKE UP YOU MORONS. Man I hate people. Not only is Subway milking this fatass for all he's worth, but they're cutting corners every chance they can get to further increase their profits.

I will NOT go to a franchise in which the employees are actively encouraged to give less toppings with bonus incentives. I heard this straight from the horse's mouth (Subway employees) and have since confirmed it with other Subway employees. Also, we have Subway to blame for tainting an otherwise tolerable movie, Happy Gilmore, with their non-stop advertising campaign. Subway is shit, stop supporting Subway.

196,579 people think I understated my point.

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