Friends blows. I can't stand looking at them. Who the hell would want to watch this show? Friends? So what? Stupid bastards. Why don't they make a show called Assholes? It'd be about a bunch of miserable, depressed losers that hate everything (especially Enya). They'd always be ornery, always bitter. That's what I'd pay to see. A bunch of spiteful jerks beating the shit out of each other, none of this giddy laughter and contrived happiness you find on an average episode of Friends.

I remember when the show first came out, people flocked to music stores to buy the sound track. What the hell were they thinking? I heard part of it once, it went something like "I'll be there for you..." No, you won't be there for me, bitch. In fact, if you ever get anywhere near me, I'll put my foot up your ass. The show is bullshit, and it must be canceled.

152,676 people think I'm petty.

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