Zombies are the worst.


I was thinking about zombies the other day, and about how much I hate them. They're always walking slow, moaning, and eating me. Well, at least they try to eat me (I don't let them). The problem with them is that they just don't know when to quit. You can shoot a hole through their chest, and blow their legs off, but they still keep coming at you. The best thing to do is to run screaming. But they'll follow you. So don't run screaming unless you're leading them into a trap.

Burning zombies isn't a good idea, as they won't die very easily and the smell is pretty bad. I suggest you dig a huge pit (I call mine the Zombie pit of hell) and lead them into a room with one entrance and one exit. After the zombies go into the room, lock the door behind them and start compacting the walls so they have no choice but to fall into the pit.

Once the zombies are in there, it's safe to go into the room to tease the zombies (they hate it when you pour batery acid on them). After you get bored teasing them, tell them that you'll let them out in half an hour. Turn off the lights and forget about them. If your friends come over, tell them that there's a surprise in the room for them. As soon as they go in, turn on the lights and start the compactor walls. Laugh. Then, stop the walls just before they fall in and say "just kidding". Then turn the walls back on for a few seconds just in case they think you really were kidding. Everyone will get a good laugh.

276,221 zombies have tried eating me.

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