Five questions that will dictate your personality
for the rest of your life.
(Updated: 12-31-02)
Guiltless grill? Is there another kind?
(Updated: 12-20-02)
Et tu Maxim? Even Maxim can't step.
(Updated: 12-03-02)
Harry Potter's worst foe: Puberty.
(Updated: 11-25-02)
What kind of car I drive and other facts you don't
need to know (new hate mail).
(Updated: 11-18-02)
Wearing a Japanese shirt doesn't make you
Japanese.
(Updated: 11-13-02)
CNN sucks.
(Updated: 11-06-02)
Too much of an uncreative, no-talent loser to
come up with your own material? Why not plagiarize me instead?
(Updated: 02-04-03)
Behold: the wisdom of a 14 year old (new hate
mail).
(Updated: 10-20-02)
More crappy children's art work.
(Updated: 10-04-02)
Why stop with a muppet with AIDS?
(Updated: 09-23-02)
Attention: inane is no longer a word
due to consensus (new hate mail).
(Updated: 10-10-02)
Seven reasons why the Xbox can suck it.
(Updated: 09-24-02)
Love your kids? Prove it by beating them.
(Updated: 09-02-02)
The movie "Signs" in four easy steps.
(Updated: 08-11-02)
Being able to spell doesn't make you any
less of an idiot (new hate mail).
(Updated: 07-17-02)
Michael Newdow: feel free to exercise your right to
blow me.
(Updated: 06-28-02)
I am better than your kids.
(Updated: 06-17-02)
I will kick your ass.
(Updated: 06-03-02)
Find out what they teach you in
pshycology (new hate mail).
(Updated: 05-22-02)
Show everyone how much of an asshole you are by
wearing faded jeans.
(Updated: 05-21-02)
Suicide isn't so bad, give it a chance.
(Updated: 04-18-02)
People who like David Lynch movies are idiots.
(Updated: 04-18-02)
The real reason Metallica has a beef with Napster.
(Updated: 04-14-02)
Someone call the CDC, it turns out Stupid is
contagious after all.
(Updated: 03-31-02)
Queen of the Damned is the worst movie ever made.
EVER.
(Updated: 03-04-02)
What better way to exemplify the human spirit
than with a pill that gives men boners?
(Updated: 02-25-02)
Contra III: The war that the world forgot.
(Updated: 02-18-02)
More abnoxious new hatemail.
(Updated: 02-17-02)
THX and Fandango commercials are to movies what
AIDS is to humans.
(Updated: 02-06-02)
Antique collectors piss me off.
(Updated: 01-28-02)
Five things that sucked about Lord of the Rings.
(Updated: 01-13-02)
When is the last time a whale did anything for
you?
(Updated: 12-13-01)
Movies that I've seen
(Updated: 01-22-01)
Movies I haven't seen and have no right to bitch
about (but do anyway)
(Updated: 1-5-98)
Movies I hate that begin with "T" and end with
"ITANIC"
(Updated: 10-21-98)
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